


The Hand that Feeds

by Ressarioth



Category: Quantum Devil Saga: Avatar Tuner - 五代 ゆう | Godai Yuu, Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cannibalism, Force-Feeding, Gen, Graphic Depictions of Illness, M/M, Mild Gore, Other, Pre-Relationship, developing feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 22:17:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20785949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ressarioth/pseuds/Ressarioth
Summary: The rules of the Junkyard have changed, its inhabitants awakening to unusual powers and the desire for the flesh and blood of their enemies. When Serph refuses to eat for self-preservation, Heat leaves them little choice.





	The Hand that Feeds

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this about a year ago as a birthday present for a friend, but never posted it anywhere, because I couldn't settle on a title. I finally decided to dust it off and share it, now all I can think is that the tags make it sound way kinkier than it is.
> 
> I ended up reading the first part of Quantom Devil Saga when brainstorming ideas, so this is mostly based on how events unfold there with my own twist on it.

_An offering for the leader devoured by the second with no hesitation._

Serph watches as Heat sinks his teeth into the lump of meat he held out to Serph just a moment ago. There's no such rule as to leave the first bite to the leader, because in the Junkyard you leave your fallen enemies to dissolve and enter the circle of rebirth. You don't devour them.

Knees weak, Serph slides down the wall that they're backed up against. They feel dizzy from exhaustion, their stomach is twisting with nausea, confusion attributes at least two meanings to every sensation in their body. Their thoughts are stumbling over each other, trying to make sense of what is happening.

Seeing the blood running down Heat's hands and the sides of his mouth, hearing the sound of every bite is overwhelming. Serph screws their eyes shut to blend it out, but the smacking Heat's lips still reaches their ears and conjures up sickening visions of the unconventional feast in their mind. The revolt of their stomach doesn't stop. They're so _hungry_.

Heat was right, Serph wants it. They want the flesh of their enemy, their prey. They want it so bad and it's driving them out of their mind because this isn't right, _this isn't right, this isn't right_. All those lives that were lost in the endless battle, all the men they sacrificed for victory or survival — this is where they're drawing the line. It goes against everything they've believed to be true. And yet, deep down inside there's an instinct twisting and turning, trying to break free from their gut. An instinct telling them that Heat is doing what's necessary and there's no point in resisting.

A scream tears from Serph's mouth and they press their palms against their eye sockets, fingers clutching their scalp. Their head feels like it's about to split open. They want to throw up, fighting back the gagging reflex with all their might. They can no longer tell if the mere thought of what Heat is doing is making things worse or if it's because they're refusing to do the same. It feels like there's a monster inside them, a hunger they have never known before.

_I'm the monster._

Serph topples to the side, their entire body buzzing with pain. The wailing from their mouth won't stop, drowning out any other noises in the room. It gives them little relief. They can no longer feel their hands on their face and fear that their skin has gone numb. When they open their eyes they find the state of things to be far worse: where their arms are supposed to be they now see black, gooey tendrils; twisting and dissolving. They know it's the logical outcome and yet they're still trying to avoid what's necessary.

Time is running out. If Serph doesn't eat someone else, they'll end up consuming themself. Deep down they could already tell, their mind just didn't want to accept it, fights against it even now. Heat embraced it. Heat is eating, Heat is going to regain his strength. And Serph… What about them?

Before today, Serph never feared Heat. Their roles were clear, dictated by the laws of the Junkyard that no one thought to break. But after the last battle with the Vanguard, since that strange object erupted with white light, the rules seem to have changed. And now Serph dreads. They dread what Heat could do, what Heat could do to _them_.

A strong arm wraps around Serph's back and pulls their upper body from the floor. With almost no strength left, they slump against the shoulder of someone familiar. Lights are dancing in front of their eyes but they can still tell it's Heat. It must be, because everyone else fled the room after Heat made his horrendous proposal. The scent of blood stings Serph's nose as Heat presents them with another handful of flesh.

"Eat!" Heat urges. When Serph still shows signs of hesitation, he adds: "Don't be stupid."

Serph never had to obey before, they never thought they would. Their role is to command and hold the tribe together. For that they have to recover and live on — and Heat is offering the only way out. Pushing aside the thoughts about what is in front of them, they lean forward and have a hearty bite.

It's a battle, Serph's gut competing with their mind. Even as they wolf down the meat driven by hunger and the need to survive, they choke on the blood and every shred threatens to get stuck in their throat. It's different from anything they've ever eaten; they cannot block out the knowledge of what they're putting in their mouth, who it used to be. Sheer force of will is what makes them endure, their consciousness too persistent to be overshadowed by the monster that settled in their insides. Heat's arm around their shoulders gives them a strange sense of comfort, a reminder of why they're doing this.

Relief is short-lived after Serph has forced down all of it. Their stomach is screaming the rejection of their mind and they're ready to throw everything back up again. What they've done is too disgusting, _disgusting, disgusting!_ Heat is the only thing preventing them from leaning over to spit it all back out. They try to wiggle out of his grip, but they consider they might not even care if it ends up on their clothes as long as they get it out of their body.

As if reading Serph's mind, Heat tightens his hold on them, keeping them in place. He puts his free hand over their mouth and forces their head to lean against his shoulder.

"You fool, keep it in!" he hisses as they struggle against his strong hands.

Serph's attempts to break free are in vain. Even though the dizziness has subsided, they aren't at full strength. At their best, Heat outmatches them in physical capability; like this, he has them completely overpowered. They cease their resistance and put all their focus on swallowing down the bile that threatens to rise up. Heat has left them with no other choice if they don't want to choke.

Eventually, the urge eases off, allowing Serph to breathe more consistently instead of pausing every other moment to keep it together. The tension drains out of their body and they sink further against the one holding them. Heat takes that as his cue to release their mouth and their hasty gasping for air turns into a cough.

Once Serph has calmed down, there's a hand on their cheek, coaxing their head to turn towards Heat. Both their gazes meet and Serph thinks they can make out concern in Heat's stern face. Maybe it's the intimacy of the gesture or the contrast to his increasingly abrasive behaviour as of recent that makes Serph wonder if he's always been like this. It feels surreal, like a minor shift from the way things are supposed to be that makes a huge difference. 

Serph stares while their stomach tingles in a way that has nothing to do with the raw flesh it's processing or the fear which has been dancing around the corners of their mind whenever they looked at Heat these past hours. He's turned into an enigma that makes them excited and uncertain at the same time. They cannot figure out how it happened. His eyes look like a reflection of their wonder and that's the strangest part of it all.

Heat retreats. His hand slips off Serph's cheek before he pulls back his arm from their shoulders. Both reposition themselves against the wall, flinching as their shoulders bump. He comes across as awkward as they feel confused. In search of distraction they notice that their limbs have reformed as if nothing ever happened. They flex their fingers, feeling how the strength has returned to them.

"You're one hell of a messy eater." Heat breaks the silence on a dismissive note.

Serph cannot argue with that, though they figure the point is mute coming from him. "You're one to talk."

The huff they receive as a response makes them conclude that their meaning came across. That marks the end of their short-lived conversation, leaving Serph's thoughts with enough space to clutter their head. The small changes in Heat and the ones Serph noticed in themself promise to be a mystery. They shove them aside for later to focus on more pressing matters. There are other people for them to consider, their entire tribe that is relying on them to be a good leader.

"We should check on the others." Serph struggles to their feed. They cannot sit around while their best soldiers might be meeting a terrible end out of stubbornness. "Make sure they eat something before they dissolve."

Heat follows suit and gets up from the floor. However he turns away from Serph and looks towards the remains of Harely Q. "I'm not everyone's babysitter."

Caught off guard by Heat's unwillingness to help his comrades, Serph pauses and regards him with searching eyes. They cannot read minds and only guess motives, so no amount of staring will gain them an answer to what they're wondering about. If Heat doesn't care about the others, then why did he concern himself with Serph?

"Just mine then?" they question to test his response.

Heat gives a look over his shoulder. "You're the leader."

_Am I?_

"I am," Serph confirms, covering up their doubts.

"Then act like one!"

Heat's admonishment snaps Serph out of their stupor and brings them new clarity. It isn't Heat himself that they've started to fear, it's the thought that he could leave their side which concerns them. His silent presence and quick action vibrates an impatience that they don't know how to assuage. It's like he has his foot out of the door, a half-vision of what's to come.

_I'm going to lose Heat._

The realisation comes with more distress than Serph would have expected. It never occurred to them before, but now it's lurking on their mind, weighing on their chest. It's fear and the growing understanding that what they want is for Heat to stay with them as he always has. An expandable soldier and yet a constant in their life that has gained meaning while they were starving for demon flesh.

Serph doesn't know how to address these feelings welling up inside them, they don't even know what they mean. All they can think to do is push through everything and regain control; be the collected person in charge of the Embryon. They haven't lost Heat yet, so if he wants them to act like a leader they will.

"Can you carry that outside?" Serph points at the demonic remains on the floor. Seeing the doubt in Heat's face, they add. "We don't have time to get the others back here, so let's bring it to them — if they haven't turned into that stuff yet."

"Or killed each other off," Heat remarks and Serph doesn't want to think about the possibility.

When Heat still looks reluctant to move, Serph adds: "Get to it! We've wasted enough time already."

"If the leader commands," Heat grunts and gets to work.

Serph leaves the room without sparing Heat another look. It's a bravado they hold up for themself as well as him. They can't have their concern become visible, they've hesitated enough. It's not fit for a leader to doubt themself and if the events of today showed anything then that Heat needs them to be certain more than any of their other soldiers. 

There has never been any guarantee of survival on the battlefield and yet that didn't stop Serph from joining the fray, because it was necessary for their tribe to survive. Whatever is happening in the junkyard now, one thing can't change: Serph will do their part to hold things together even in light of an unsure future. For the survival of the Embryon. To keep Heat at their side.


End file.
